restless words & ugly metaphors

I was born to be,

be your dead sea
Recent Tweets @

let’s live suddenly without thinking

under honest trees,
a stream
does.the brain of cleverly-crinkling
-water pursues the angry dream
of the shore. By midnight,
a moon
scratches the skin of the organised hills

an edged nothing begins to prune

let’s live like the light that kills
and let’s as silence,
because Whirl’s after all:
(after me)love,and after you.
I occasionally feel vague how
vague idon’t know tenuous Now-
spears and The Then-arrows making do
our mouths something red,something tall

Let’s Live Suddenly Without Thinking, E.E. Cummings

There were scalpels
Under my skin again
All shifting around
Splitting pinpricks
Forgotten inside me
Sewed up tight
And he said
We’ll get them out
And he kissed me
On the forehead
Yes, the forehead
Like my father
Always did
And he told me
Go to sleep
But I couldn’t
I couldn’t sleep
With all these
Inside me



 “I recently uploaded The Queen of Hearts (a collection of novels written in the 1850s) by Wilkie Collins to the MR library. As well as changing ‘gayety’ to ‘gaiety’ and ‘gayly’ to ‘gaily’ I also changed ‘gay’ to ‘light-hearted’. I did this because the English language has changed in the last 150 odd years. In our day ‘a gay man’ would almost certainly be read as ‘a homosexual man,’ and this is simply not what Collins meant – he would have used a different term if he had dared to mention a character’s sexual orientation at all. I did add a note to the posting that I had updated spelling and hyphenation – I also changed ‘to-day’ to ‘today’ for example.”

I am still unsure how I feel about this. ~ eP

Wtf? Why would someone change the original text?? Anyone with half a brain/education knows that until less than 100 years ago, “gay” meant “happy”. Are we supposed to cut up every other classic work and replace their “outdated” words with modern ones? Language evolves, and people who read books written a long time ago are perfectly aware of this. If it’s a 160+ year old book that people are still reading, I’d imagine that the author was very intentional with his/her word choice, and for someone to alter them later on when converting the text to a format that may be widely disseminated is a travesty.

This made me really angry.

Yeah, this is not okay. Upload a separate version if people really want one that’s easier to read, but don’t alter the original.. imagine how different it will eventually be if we just keep changing it every hundred years. If you don’t want to read an original Shakespeare you can read the sparknotes version, but you don’t just modernize an original Shakespeare..

I recoil
Not like a cat
Preparing to leap
Not with energy
Not like a spring

I recoil like a dog
That’s been slapped
I withdraw all energy
Into the darkest corners
Of my being
I hide beneath
My skin

All it takes is
A shift in
The wind
And I recoil
So deep
You may not
Ever see me

When there’s too many
Lines running through
My mind, I just don’t catch
A word of anything I think
It all sounds like foreign film
Without the subtitles to read
And I missed the crucial scene
And now I’m asking how I feel

I think I missed something

Why can’t I keep promises to myself? I can do anything if it will make someone else happy. But when it comes to things for myself, all I do is make and break promises, day after day. I’d bend over backwards to help out a stranger. Anyone could count on me but myself.

I count my teeth
Before I sleep
I’m living in a
Child’s dream
Dark, tangled
Thick with thorns
Woven with weeds
I’m younger than
I even know
And older than
I can ever bear

Hot breath
In my ears
Push me up
Against a door
I’m screaming
On the other side
Don’t open it yet
Hold it closed
Press tighter
On the lock

I would like
To walk your spine
A tightrope
Of hurt and hope
A balancing act
Every morning
Don’t look down
No matter
How you shake
Don’t look down
I try so hard
But I want to see
The fall in case
I take the leap
I look down
I confess
I always cave
For just a peek

I’m still feeling
Alone as ever
But it’s either
Getting harder
To care or
Easier not to
I’m trading in
Bleeding seams
For glass eyes
I may seem okay
But I’m not alive